The How of Being: An Interview with Townsend Wardlaw
By Jonathan Carroll, Editor-in-Chief, The Coaches' Chronicle
Every so often, I have the privilege of sitting down with someone whose journey, wisdom, and contribution to our field shine a bright light on what is possible in coaching and leadership. In this issue, that person is Townsend Wardlaw.
From rolling burritos to becoming a Fortune 500 VP in under six years, to building and losing his own company, navigating bankruptcy and divorce, and eventually finding his way into the world of coaching, Townsend's path is nothing short of remarkable. His insights on being over doing, the "human operating system," and the evolving landscape of coaching offer a fresh lens for coaches and leaders everywhere.
In our conversation, we explore his early career, the lessons he learned from failure, the shift from consulting to coaching, and his philosophy of being as the foundation of transformation. We also discuss blind spots leaders face, how to reframe fear, the role of integrity, and his upcoming book, The How of Being.
I am thrilled to share this dialogue with you. Let's dive in.
Our interview with Townsend Wardlaw
From Burritos to Fortune 500 VP
Jonathan Carroll:
You rose from rolling burritos to a Fortune 500 VP in just six years. What accelerated that journey?
Townsend Wardlaw:
Honestly, an unreasonable confidence in myself. I never followed the "rules" of corporate life that said you had to stay in a job for three to five years before moving up. Instead, I changed jobs whenever a better one came along, often doubling my salary in the process. What drove me was not a long-term plan but a willingness to trust my instincts, take risks, and figure things out as I went.
Early on, I took what were considered "crappy" sales jobs: cold calling, long-distance phone services, even pagers. It was brutal work, but I learned resilience. I was told "no" hundreds of times a day and still showed up the next morning to do it again. That built a kind of unreasonable belief that I could create opportunities for myself regardless of circumstances. That willingness to move fast, not settle for poor leadership, and keep pushing opened doors much more quickly than the traditional path would have.
Learning Through Loss
"That chapter was devastating, but it was also one of the greatest teachers of my life."
Jonathan:
Losing your first company led to bankruptcy and divorce. What did that teach you?
Townsend:
That chapter was devastating, but it was also one of the greatest teachers of my life. I had built my company and my life on the belief that everything was "up to me." That mindset created success, but it also isolated me, wore me down, and ultimately capped what I could build. I had 80 employees, an executive team, and a multimillion-dollar payroll, but I carried it all on my own back.
When it all collapsed, I broke. That breakdown forced me to see that my way of creating was not sustainable. It cracked me open and, thankfully, the universe placed incredible coaches and guides in my path. They helped me see that life could be created differently, more collaboratively, more consciously, and with much less ego. Resilience was not about picking myself up and grinding harder. It was about learning to rebuild from a new way of being.
The Pivot to Coaching
Consulting
Helping founders scale and exit
Realization
"I was just helping people build bigger cages"
Coaching
Working at the level of inner transformation
Jonathan:
What led you to pivot from consulting into coaching?
Townsend:
After my company ended, I spent a decade as a consultant helping founders scale and exit. On paper, it was successful. I worked with over 200 founders, and dozens walked away with tens of millions of dollars. But I kept noticing a pattern: on the other side of those big exits, they were still miserable. Unfulfilled. Disconnected from themselves and their families.
I realized I was just helping people build bigger cages, and that was where my own company had been headed. Around that time, I hired Rich Litvin as my coach. In our very first session, he asked me, "Which of your clients inspire you?" My arrogant answer was, "None. I inspire them." His response, "Well, isn't that a shame," hit me hard. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life working with people who inspired me.
That was the turning point. I deleted consulting slots from my calendar, created coaching slots instead, and said yes to coaching even though I had no certification and no plan. What I knew was this: I wanted to work at the level of inner transformation, not just tactics and strategy.
Being Over Doing: The Core Philosophy
The Human Operating System
"Most people live as if their thoughts are reality. But our thoughts are simply projections of our being. Being is the operating system that sits underneath everything."
The Phone Analogy
"The apps are our actions, the hardware is our body, but underneath is the operating system. If you upgrade iOS, suddenly every app runs differently."
Jonathan:
Your core philosophy is being over doing. How do you explain this?
Townsend:
Most people live as if their thoughts are reality. But our thoughts are simply projections of our being. Being is the operating system that sits underneath everything. Our thinking flows from it, our actions flow from our thinking, and our results flow from those actions.
I like to use the analogy of a phone. The apps are our actions, the hardware is our body, but underneath is the operating system. If you upgrade iOS, suddenly every app runs differently. It is the same with humans. Upgrade your being, and everything downstream, your thinking, your choices, your results, shifts dramatically.
Jonathan:
Can you share an example of transformation at the level of being?
Townsend:
Take the belief "It's up to me." For many founders, that operating system creates immense success. It allows them to take risks, build companies, and make things happen against all odds. But over time, it also erodes trust, creates isolation, and often destroys marriages and relationships.
I coach extraordinarily wealthy people whose net worth are in the hundreds of millions. From the outside, they look like the picture of success. Yet when I ask them, "Do you feel successful?" the answer is often "No." Their being is still powered by "I'm not enough." That belief drives incredible results but never pays off emotionally. Transformation at the level of being is about changing the fuel itself.
Upgrading the Human Operating System
"If you believe your thoughts are objectively true, then you'll spend your life wrestling with the screen instead of noticing the projector in the booth."
Awareness
Recognize that thoughts are projections, not reality
Tracing Back
Ask "What must I believe to be producing this thought?"
Conscious Choice
Choose the way of being that fits the moment
Jonathan:
What does upgrading the human operating system look like in practice?
Townsend:
It begins with awareness. If you believe your thoughts are objectively true, then you'll spend your life wrestling with the screen instead of noticing the projector in the booth. By slowing down and asking, "What must I believe to be producing this thought?" you can trace it back to your being.
The key is realizing there is nothing inherently wrong with any way of being. "It's up to me" might be the perfect OS when starting a company. But if it runs unconsciously in every area of life, it becomes toxic. Upgrading means consciously choosing the way of being that fits the moment instead of letting old programming run the show.
Leadership Blind Spots

The Biggest Blind Spot
Confusing perspective with truth
Jonathan:
What blind spots do you see in leaders and coaches?
Townsend:
The biggest blind spot is confusing perspective with truth. A lot of high achievers operate from "something's wrong." That lens makes them great problem solvers, but it blinds them to the possibility that nothing is wrong.
One client had been ghosted after a job offer and was furious, convinced something had gone terribly wrong. I asked him to imagine it was actually the best thing that ever happened. At first, he resisted. But once he began playing with that perspective, new possibilities opened up. Blind spots are simply the perspectives we never consider because we are too committed to our current way of seeing.
Problem Solver Lens
"Something's wrong"
Alternative Perspective
"What if nothing is wrong?"
New Possibilities
Seeing beyond current commitments
Authentic Enrollment in Coaching
Jonathan:
Enrollment is a huge part of coaching. How do you help coaches move from fear-driven selling to authentic selling?
Townsend:
First, I tell them fear never disappears. If you are selling yourself as a coach, insecurity will show up. That is not a sign you are doing it wrong. It is a sign you are in the right place.
Second, I remind them that coaching is not consulting. Consulting is about being the expert. Coaching is about being the mirror. Your job is not to give answers but to help clients see themselves more clearly. When you stop taking responsibility for client results and start trusting the coaching relationship, selling becomes about connection rather than performance.
Consulting
Being the expert
Coaching
Being the mirror
Reframing Fear and Staying Grounded
Fear as Compass
"Fear is not something to avoid but something to learn from. Think of skiing, you have to work the edge."
Invitation to Growth
"Today, most of our fears are not life-threatening. They are invitations."
Jonathan:
You have said fear and discomfort can be allies. How can people reframe them?
Townsend:
Fear is not something to avoid but something to learn from. Think of skiing, you have to work the edge. Too much edge and you lose momentum. Not enough and you lose control. Fear is the edge. It tells you where the growth is.
For most of human history, fear meant survival. Today, most of our fears are not life-threatening. They are invitations. When you learn to trust fear as a compass instead of treating it as a red light, it becomes one of your greatest allies.
Jonathan:
What practices help you stay grounded in being?
Townsend:
It starts with the basics: sleep, exercise, and nutrition. On top of that, I have a daily practice of self-creation. Each morning I speak myself into being. For example, I declare, "No one is worthy of my judgment, and everyone is deserving of my love."
Throughout the day, I monitor my thoughts and behaviors. If I notice stress, worry, or impatience, I know a legacy operating system is running. I pause, clean it up internally, and if needed, make amends externally. It is a daily practice of choosing who I want to be rather than letting old programming run the show.
Building a Coaching Practice
Jonathan:
What is the biggest mistake new coaches make?
Townsend:
Believing there is already a market of clients waiting for coaching. The truth is, coaching is still an immature market. Most people don't wake up thinking, "I should hire a coach." Coaches create their clients by introducing people to the experience of coaching, often long before they are ready to pay for it.
It usually takes six years to build a sustainable practice. That timeframe includes mastering your inner game, building skill as a coach, and developing the patience to let clients mature into readiness.
1
Year 1-2
Mastering inner game
2
Year 3-4
Building coaching skills
3
Year 5-6
Developing patience
Jonathan:
With AI making information abundant, you have said coaches must focus on transformation. What do you mean?
Townsend:
Information is everywhere. AI now gives us access to every piece of knowledge imaginable, often faster and more clearly than a human could. If you believe your value as a coach is information, you will be replaced.
What AI cannot do is sit across from someone and say, "I know what this feels like. I've walked that path." Transformation requires empathy, presence, and lived human experience. Coaches are uniquely qualified to serve previous versions of themselves. That is where transformation occurs, and that is what will keep coaching essential in the age of AI.
Integrity in Coaching
"Integrity is not about morality. It is about wholeness."
Jonathan:
What does integrity look like in coaching relationships?
Townsend:
Integrity is not about morality. It is about wholeness. Does your word match your action? Do you do what you say you will do? That is the foundation of powerful coaching relationships.
When both coach and client honor their word, their agreements become deeply powerful. Integrity gives weight to what we say, and when words carry weight, they create reality. Without integrity, words are just noise.
Word Given
Action Taken
Trust Built
Transformation Enabled
Ambition, Wealth, and Inner Peace
Jonathan:
How do you navigate ambition, wealth, and inner peace?
Townsend:
I don't see tension between them because they are separate games. The tension comes when people make them dependent on one another, when they think, "If I make enough money, I'll feel peaceful."
Peace is acceptance of what is. Wealth is money piling up or not. Ambition is drive. I value peace most. Interestingly, the more peaceful I am, the more money tends to flow, but I don't tie the two together.
Peace
Acceptance of what is
Wealth
Money piling up or not
Ambition
Drive
The How of Being: The Upcoming Book
Jonathan:
Tell us about your upcoming book, The How of Being.
Townsend:
The book is a fieldbook for working at the level of being. It is about helping people see how their operating system creates their world. Most of us live as if the movie on the screen is real. The book is about learning to recognize the projector in the booth.
It will not be for everyone. But for those who resonate with my journey and way of speaking, it will be transformational. I am considering making it a limited edition, sold directly, rather than competing in the noise of mass publishing.
Jonathan:
If you could plant one idea in every coach and leader, what would it be?
Townsend:
Remember how lucky we are. People commute to jobs they hate every day. We get to wake up and work with human beings, holding space for them to dream bigger and live fuller lives. This is not work, it is a privilege.
Advice for New Coaches
"Relax. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. This journey takes time."
Jonathan:
And if you could give one piece of advice to a new coach today?
Townsend:
Relax. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. This journey takes time. Trust that you are on the right path. Do not compare yourself to others. Keep going, and you will see proof along the way.
Trust the Process
You are exactly where you're supposed to be
Avoid Comparison
Your journey is unique
Keep Going
Proof will appear along the way
Closing Reflections
Our conversation with Townsend Wardlaw was a powerful reminder that transformation begins not with strategies or tactics but at the level of being. From his candid reflections on failure and resilience, to his philosophy on integrity, fear, and the future of coaching in an AI-driven world, Townsend demonstrates what it means to live and lead authentically.
On behalf of The Coaches' Chronicle, I want to warmly thank Townsend for sharing his wisdom, experiences, and heart with our readers. His journey is a testament to what is possible when we choose to upgrade our "human operating system" and commit to being over doing.
Key Takeaways
  • Transformation happens at the level of being, not doing
  • Our thoughts are projections of our operating system
  • Fear can be a compass pointing to growth
  • Integrity is about wholeness, not morality
  • Coaching is about presence, not information
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Watch the full interview with Jonathan Carroll and Townsend Wardlaw below (69 min).
Jonathan Carroll
Editor-in-Chief, The Coaches’ Chronicle
Jonathan Carroll is a visionary leader, masterful facilitator, coach, mentor, retreat host, author, and the Editor-In-Chief of The Coaches’ Chronicle, a premier publication for conscious, heart-centered coaches, healers, and visionary leaders. With decades of experience guiding transformational leaders toward authentic alignment and full expression, Jonathan curates The Coaches’ Chronicle to be more than just a magazine. It is a movement, amplifying the voices of those redefining success through purpose, integrity, and deep inner work.
As the founder of The Dragonfly Club™, Jonathan has built a global community dedicated to conscious evolution, blending spiritual wisdom with real-world impact. His expertise in intuitive business leadership, energetic alignment, and authentic expression makes him a sought-after mentor for those ready to embrace their soul’s highest calling.
At The Coaches’ Chronicle, Jonathan continues his mission of elevating the coaching industry beyond fleeting trends, fostering a space where depth, wisdom, and transformation take center stage. Click on Jonathan's photo to follow him on Facebook.
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